Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
