Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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