U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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