Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
