I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
