Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
