Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
