dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How does it feel to date your dad?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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