I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
