Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
