real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Someone signed my nipple.
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