She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
