I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
