i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Text me some of your sweat
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
