Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
