Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
