i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
