So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
