is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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