Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
