When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
