He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
