I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have feelings that need drinking.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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