So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
