I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
