I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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