YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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