based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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