the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
