I am in a vortex of obligation.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
