As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
