Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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