me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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