you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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