do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
