he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
