My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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