Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Let's paint friendship bongs
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
