Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
