Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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