I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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