when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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