Me too!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
