are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
