I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
