Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just forgot I was standing up.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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