If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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