Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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