Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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