Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The air taste purple.
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